I went to the grocery store the other day and ran into an old friend. After bumping into her and her daughter on almost every aisle, we ran into each other by the Hallmark cards. We started talking about who we were buying cards for and how we find it hard to comprehend how many people we know have or had cancer. One thing led to another and she recommended I read a book called The Noticer by Andy Andrews. She loved it so much she then bought ten more copies and sent it to friends. I went that afternoon to the bookstore and bought it and read it that day.
Wow!! What a book! It is all about perspective and is told in a fiction/non fiction way. I highly recommend this book to everyone. It will help you, as it helped me, look at your life in whole new way. Please, please, please read this book. You won't regret it. Trust me.
xo
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Everything Happens for a Reason
I hadn't seen my friend Virginia and her daughter Magnolia in quite some time but we finally set up a dinner date for last week. While catching up, Virginia mentioned that she was going to a Leukemia Lymphoma Society meeting over the weekend. She was going to give a pep talk to the people who were in training for the TNT Marathon/Triathlon in San Diego. I decided to go and see what it was all about and I was so glad I did.
Several amazing things happened. First, I was introduced to Roberta. Roberta is a survivor of Lymphoma as well as a hugs volunteer for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. We connected immediately. She is originally from Long Island, as am I, and she has been through the fight and looks amazing. She was and is a true inspiration to me.
Then, as I was talking to Virginia, I surveyed the room and noticed that our former doctor, John Hildreth, was amongst the participants. He was our favorite doctor, think Marcus Welby, and we were devastated when he retired. He is 72 years old and is going to do the marathon/triathlon. He is amazing!!! After catching up with him, he asked me to write my name on his participant bracelet. This means he will do the marathon for me!!!! I was so touched. Just being around him made me feel better. I felt even better when he told me that his wife's oncologist when she was battling cancer was my oncologist, Dr. Schwartz. Wow! If Dr. Schwartz was their choice, then I know for sure I'm in the best hands.
Finally, one of the guest speakers gave an amazing testimony of thanks to the participants. His words about his experience fighting Lymphoma and waiting for the pet scan results really touched my heart. I deeply felt everything he was saying. He spoke from his heart with humility and humor and thanked everyone who was participating for helping him and so many others for getting their lives back.
So I, too, would like to thank everyone who is helping to raise awareness and funds for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. THANK YOU!!!! And, to Virginia, for setting up our dinner plans, THANK YOU. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have even know about the event and I would have missed out on an experience of a lifetime. XO
Several amazing things happened. First, I was introduced to Roberta. Roberta is a survivor of Lymphoma as well as a hugs volunteer for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. We connected immediately. She is originally from Long Island, as am I, and she has been through the fight and looks amazing. She was and is a true inspiration to me.
Then, as I was talking to Virginia, I surveyed the room and noticed that our former doctor, John Hildreth, was amongst the participants. He was our favorite doctor, think Marcus Welby, and we were devastated when he retired. He is 72 years old and is going to do the marathon/triathlon. He is amazing!!! After catching up with him, he asked me to write my name on his participant bracelet. This means he will do the marathon for me!!!! I was so touched. Just being around him made me feel better. I felt even better when he told me that his wife's oncologist when she was battling cancer was my oncologist, Dr. Schwartz. Wow! If Dr. Schwartz was their choice, then I know for sure I'm in the best hands.
Finally, one of the guest speakers gave an amazing testimony of thanks to the participants. His words about his experience fighting Lymphoma and waiting for the pet scan results really touched my heart. I deeply felt everything he was saying. He spoke from his heart with humility and humor and thanked everyone who was participating for helping him and so many others for getting their lives back.
So I, too, would like to thank everyone who is helping to raise awareness and funds for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. THANK YOU!!!! And, to Virginia, for setting up our dinner plans, THANK YOU. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have even know about the event and I would have missed out on an experience of a lifetime. XO
Saturday, January 22, 2011
The Waiting Game
It has been a very strange time for me since my chemo treatment last week. I have been very jittery and have not been able to really relax. And yet, I seem to be more tired at the same time. Go figure.
At my last doctor's visit, my blood work was fine. Actually, my white count was outstanding!!! We set up the pet scan for January 31st and the anticipation is agonizing. So many things running through my mind as I wait.
For example, I was just getting used to my schedule and weekly check-ins with the doctor. It was my routine. Now, I don't have to go every week. I've been cut off. The doctor doesn't want to see me until the morning of the scan. How is that possible? The what ifs are running through my mind at warp speed.
I am always trying to stay positive but what if I'm too positive? I don't want to be disappointed. But I don't want to be negative either. It's like a ping pong match is going in my head and it is giving me a headache. Speaking of my head, they say my hair will start to grow back now that I am done. When do I stop shaving it? Answer: everyone is different, no pat answer. The questions go on and on. . . .
For distraction, "something" told me to pick up a book that Craig gave me when I was first diagnosed but just couldn't focus on at the time. The book- It's Not About the Hair, by Debra Jarvis- saved me. It was like manna from heaven, and considering that Debra Jarvis is a chaplain for oncology patients in Seattle, I mean it! She talked about everything that I was thinking about from her own first hand experience in dealing with her battle with breast cancer. She seemed to be speaking to me with openness and honesty and most importantly, humor! If you know anyone that is battling any type of cancer, I would definitely recommend this book as a gift.
I was so moved by this book that I decided to send Debra a thank you note. Guess what? She wrote right back and made my day!
At my last doctor's visit, my blood work was fine. Actually, my white count was outstanding!!! We set up the pet scan for January 31st and the anticipation is agonizing. So many things running through my mind as I wait.
For example, I was just getting used to my schedule and weekly check-ins with the doctor. It was my routine. Now, I don't have to go every week. I've been cut off. The doctor doesn't want to see me until the morning of the scan. How is that possible? The what ifs are running through my mind at warp speed.
I am always trying to stay positive but what if I'm too positive? I don't want to be disappointed. But I don't want to be negative either. It's like a ping pong match is going in my head and it is giving me a headache. Speaking of my head, they say my hair will start to grow back now that I am done. When do I stop shaving it? Answer: everyone is different, no pat answer. The questions go on and on. . . .
For distraction, "something" told me to pick up a book that Craig gave me when I was first diagnosed but just couldn't focus on at the time. The book- It's Not About the Hair, by Debra Jarvis- saved me. It was like manna from heaven, and considering that Debra Jarvis is a chaplain for oncology patients in Seattle, I mean it! She talked about everything that I was thinking about from her own first hand experience in dealing with her battle with breast cancer. She seemed to be speaking to me with openness and honesty and most importantly, humor! If you know anyone that is battling any type of cancer, I would definitely recommend this book as a gift.
I was so moved by this book that I decided to send Debra a thank you note. Guess what? She wrote right back and made my day!
Is the coast clear?
Well, I can finally say that I completed my six rounds of prescribed chemotherapy. Yippee!!!! I can say that now, but while I was going the the final round it felt almost anti-climactic. The first day we were late and that stressed me out. I couldn't understand why my chaperones didn't have the sense of urgency or anticipation that I had. Of course when you're late, things get off to a slow start even though you know they were expecting you.
Day 2 went smoothly with Sheryl as my nurse. What a blessing! She is calm and sweet and pays attention to every detail. My nephew, Robbie, kept me company and the morning flew by. I talked to Sheryl about whether or not to remove my port for the continuing maintenance program (Sheryl calls them tune-ups!) I would be on for the next two years. Being that I have shitty veins, keeping the port in is the way to go. I truly appreciated her honesty and that's why I like her.
As I left my last treatment, I thought I would be doing a jig or something but I wasn't. I guess lurking in the back of my mind was the fact that I still had to wait for that all telling pet scan in order to do my victory dance.
Day 2 went smoothly with Sheryl as my nurse. What a blessing! She is calm and sweet and pays attention to every detail. My nephew, Robbie, kept me company and the morning flew by. I talked to Sheryl about whether or not to remove my port for the continuing maintenance program (Sheryl calls them tune-ups!) I would be on for the next two years. Being that I have shitty veins, keeping the port in is the way to go. I truly appreciated her honesty and that's why I like her.
As I left my last treatment, I thought I would be doing a jig or something but I wasn't. I guess lurking in the back of my mind was the fact that I still had to wait for that all telling pet scan in order to do my victory dance.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Will Round 6 be the Final Fix?
Round 5 kind of kicked my butt a bit. I didn't get sick from the treatments, thank god. I've just been much more tired. I am sure that part of it is the result of what everyone calls the cumulative effect-the more chemo you have, the weaker you may feel. The other contributing factor could be the holiday season. I certainly didn't let my cancer get in the way of having a great holiday. My kids were both coming home and I wanted the holiday to be great. . . and it was!
One of my Christmas gifts was a cold. I have been fighting this cold for several weeks and it is exhausting. One day I feel good and the next day I don't. The on-call doctor put me on antibiotics and my doctor took me off. He said my blood counts were fine and I should be set to go next week for round 6. Yet my nose keeps running. Ugh!
Round 6 is supposed to be my final round of chemo with the drug I fondly call the "Red Devil". When I showed some excitement about this, the doctor kind of said something like, "Well, let's wait and see. I'm sure all will be fine but we still have to wait for the Pet Scan results to be sure."
So, the Pet Scan should be at the beginning of February and I'm hoping that everyone will continue to pray for me and send very positive thoughts my way. They have sustained me thus far and I know they will carry me to the finish line!!
XO
One of my Christmas gifts was a cold. I have been fighting this cold for several weeks and it is exhausting. One day I feel good and the next day I don't. The on-call doctor put me on antibiotics and my doctor took me off. He said my blood counts were fine and I should be set to go next week for round 6. Yet my nose keeps running. Ugh!
Round 6 is supposed to be my final round of chemo with the drug I fondly call the "Red Devil". When I showed some excitement about this, the doctor kind of said something like, "Well, let's wait and see. I'm sure all will be fine but we still have to wait for the Pet Scan results to be sure."
So, the Pet Scan should be at the beginning of February and I'm hoping that everyone will continue to pray for me and send very positive thoughts my way. They have sustained me thus far and I know they will carry me to the finish line!!
XO
The Cost of Cancer
Craig and I are very fortunate in that we have always had very good medical insurance. We have never had to worry about high out of pocket medical expenses or being able to go to the doctor when necessary. We also had the opportunity and foresight to purchase several different policies from AFLAC, one being a cancer policy.
Every month we get a summary of the medical expenses for our records and every month it blows my mind. It is truly impossible to comprehend. Every month the bill total is around $25,000!!!!! What really blows my mind is that one single shot, which takes less than a minute to administer, costs $5,900! Really? How is that possible? How is it possible that one shot could cost more than the 4 hours of chemo I receive on Day 2 of each treatment?
The drug that I receive on Day 1 of each chemo treatment cost $8400, every three weeks. When I continue on my two year maintenance program, I will be receiving it every two months. That's over $100,000 not including the other drugs that go along with it!!!!!!
Let me stress again that these expenses are not causing us any undue stress as we only make a $40 co-pay each time I go to the doctor or chemo. We are very, very lucky. Our concern is-what do people do if they don't have good insurance? How can they possibly afford treatment for their cancer? We have overheard people in the waiting room talking about their struggle to even get to the doctor because they can't afford the gas to get there, let alone pay for their prescriptions and medical bills. It hurts our hearts to know this is happening to people.
As you all know, I believe in the power of positivity in the healing process. How can people be positive if they are worried about the cost? That is a terribly heavy burden to carry.
Every month we get a summary of the medical expenses for our records and every month it blows my mind. It is truly impossible to comprehend. Every month the bill total is around $25,000!!!!! What really blows my mind is that one single shot, which takes less than a minute to administer, costs $5,900! Really? How is that possible? How is it possible that one shot could cost more than the 4 hours of chemo I receive on Day 2 of each treatment?
The drug that I receive on Day 1 of each chemo treatment cost $8400, every three weeks. When I continue on my two year maintenance program, I will be receiving it every two months. That's over $100,000 not including the other drugs that go along with it!!!!!!
Let me stress again that these expenses are not causing us any undue stress as we only make a $40 co-pay each time I go to the doctor or chemo. We are very, very lucky. Our concern is-what do people do if they don't have good insurance? How can they possibly afford treatment for their cancer? We have overheard people in the waiting room talking about their struggle to even get to the doctor because they can't afford the gas to get there, let alone pay for their prescriptions and medical bills. It hurts our hearts to know this is happening to people.
As you all know, I believe in the power of positivity in the healing process. How can people be positive if they are worried about the cost? That is a terribly heavy burden to carry.
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